Cat Chats and Pineapple Cobbler

What does a normal individual do on a Saturday morning? Well, hold a solid conversation with his cat of course. Here’s one I had with Patricia the other day.
Patricia: (walking at brisk pace) Hello human.
Self: Cat.
Patricia: (jumps on couch and makes herself comfortable, ready to stew in her own heat) Fine Day isn’t it guv’nah?
Self: What person says guv’nah at 10:47 am Saturday morning?
Patricia: In case, you haven’t noticed bruh, I am a CAT, Feline, relative of Lions and Cheetahs and all those other barbaric relatives of mine.
Self: Well, two shouts for Miss Family Spirit!
Patricia: You need to work on your sarcasm bro, I mean, Simba (the neighbours’ dog) has better stuff, than the pathetic lines you try passing off.
Self: Did you honestly rouse your fur, walk into the house and share a couch with me just to lower my self-esteem?
Patricia: Oh my God, you and moaning! Boo-Hoo, no one cares, hey did I tell you of that time I did a thing on the couch?
Self: You mean using it a scratcher for your claws, leaving it in an unoccupiable state and going off to lick yourself?
Patricia: See, that’s why no one likes hanging out with you on Saturday mornings, or afternoons or EVER! You are such a party pooper. I brought it up as an ice breaker, but no, you brought a whole furnace to melt this mother down! Just break the ice man, hammer it away, nice and steady.
Self: You know what, how about I tell you a joke as an ice breaker for a change?
Patricia: Shoot Blanky.
Self: Blanky?
Patricia: Yeah, Blanky, because all you do is shoot blanks.
Self: What?
Patricia: The joke, any time now!
Self: So, a sandwich and a bowl of soup walked into a bar, what did the barman tell them?
Patricia: (Stares at me blankly, unamused)
Self: Sorry, we don’t serve lunch here.
Patricia: Ha-ha
Self: I heard it in a movie once.
Patricia: I could tell.
Self: It’s funny though, you have to admit.
Patricia: You have such negative energy. Get me a bowl of milk, I am waiting outside, I need to take a leak.
Self: Who do you thin-
Patricia: NOW slave! (Jumps off the couch, runs out after suffering the terrible company I accorded her.)
I love cats still.

Recipe: PINEAPPLE COBBLER
Sweeter Than Toothpaste! I know, I have disgusting comparisons, just bear with me.

Ingredients:
2 cups self-raising flour
2 cups white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup milk
1 cup butter/ margarine
2 cups sliced pineapples (well drained)

Method
Melt the butter and set it at the bottom of the baking tin in a preheated oven at 200 degrees Celsius. Mix the flour and white sugar together, then add in the milk. Stir till smooth. In separate bowl, put the sliced pineapples and add one cup of brown sugar until well coated. Put the flour mixture in the baking tin and dunk in the coated pineapples. Bake at 200 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes. Enjoy

This erratic weather pattern is making me feel a little lazy. I love cow’s milk and brown bread. How is this information relevant? I don’t know, you are the one reading my blog. Take a peek at my previous posts if you will.
Asante Sana and Kwaheri.