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First of all Dearly Beloved, allow to me register my apologies for posting this here on a Monday, a day we agreed we shall loathe for the rest of our existence unless they decide to make it free nyama choma day pale Njuguna’s at Westy. As it turns out, we had a little bit of technical difficulties which we sorted out last night (God, I feel like one of those TV people whose faces are caked in foundation staring at a camera and reading things on the teleprompter) So, now that that’s out of the way, Dearly Beloved, I give you, Eve Kavenge. Chairperson of The Contemporary Africans Book club . Author of several publications on Wattpad under the pen name KEMUND books. User of turmeric. Slayer of rodents. Champion chapati eater. All round cool child. By Eve Kavenge: In the spirit of the month of love, I decided to use red font. This is about as 'festive' as I will get over Valentine's Day. Yes, I have been guilty of doing 'festive' things on this day. The class

I have an aunt who says Vebruary instead of February. She also says Vavour instead of favour and she can easily call Fiona, my cousin, Viona. Yes, that is her child. She mispronounces her own child's name. Don't you just love parenthood? Away from that, so, you know I am huge on sharing you with anyone and everyone right? Literally pimping you out. Reducing you to a one of those people in school who demanded your soul in exchange for two pieces of meat on Wednesday. They were, are and will forever remain scum! Today, I decided to switch it up and instead of doing another post a fortnight after the last one, I got an individual as bitter as I am about not having a Valentine's Day date to share with us the true meaning of Valentine's Day. Here goes: By Emma Kwamboka. It is February! The month of love. The month where we are blessed with couples’ snapchat, Instagram, and now WhatsApp stories. Are we really? I know, I know, we should jubilate when others are happy. An

I am supposed to write something nice and sweet about the month of love. Something that will have you wincing in pain at your own singleness, leaving you with that hollow feeling, a feeling that can only be filled by long hours of staring at couples on Instagram with their clear skin and white teeth, looking like purity and serenity in a tall glass serving. No? Just me? Are you kidding? You want to tell me you are part of these clear skinned individuals now? Oh please, I am obese not gullible. You know what, let’s jump right into it folks: TODAY’S POST! I believe Valentine’s Day was a day we created as human beings to give ourselves a tap on the back for surviving January. A rather lazy one at that. We hyped it with flowers and cake and wine and chocolate and all these things that give you diabetes, high-blood pressure and make your cholesterol levels sky rocket. But hey, who’s checking right? My father recently told us (mother dearest and myself) that he only recently knew ab