crEATive

The weather today is dreary! My goodness, the cold,really does not flatter me and my appearance.Which brings me to today's rant.Have you ever woken up in the morning and felt as though you were two centuries old? Well if you haven't, you are terrribly weird, trust me.So I wake up this morning feeling like I have been out doing some digging and masonry work and sweating my skin off.Looking into the mirror, I look even worse. I mean, my face,drenched in acne scars looks as though it has had all life sucked out of it by the monsters living under my bed.Morning breath has never been pretty but trust me, this particular morning, I am giving dragon(remember Mrs.Donkey in Shrek?) a run for her money or rather breath.I mean, what is going on today.My skin feels so pasty and sticky and oh,as sweaty as hell.The shower to the rescue! Does the water feel a little hotter today?My skin is burning,what with the water hitting me so hard I feel like meteorites are rocking me left, right, centre

I AM BACK YOU LITTLE SH*TS!!!!! Notice the all CAPS? I missed spending time looking into my computer screen as my fat, stubby fingers press the life out of the keyboard.I wonder why no one went on my social platforms to ask why I was online for a century an a half,I know my exaggeration game is on fleek, anyway during my three month hiatus, a lot happened. First, I got a twitter account, one that works by the way,I clipped my toe nails (yay!!! screams like a teenage girl) and , they grew back(sighs terribly). Anyway aside from my toe nail drama, have i a story for you!   So, he died, well honestly we murdered him, I have to admit it was an experience to behold.There he was, slowly being led to his sudden demise,well, it was not that sudden, I mean, this particular moment had been planned for a million years on end,but hey, I exaggerate, it had actually been in the works for close to three years now.From how he was to be taken from his humble dwelling and lured into the den of death.