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Showing posts from July, 2017

Rosemary: The voice behind my seat

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Traffic, rain drops, heavy jackets and wet umbrellas. This is partly lyrics from a Migos song and partly my own mastery of the English language. Other features included; loud blaring music (the kind musicians advise parental guidance because of the content.) Scenario: *music playing on the stereo* *mother seated next to child as she guides child on how to listen to the music* ‘ first off f*** your crew and the clique you claim ’ *mother pauses the track, flips through the notes she had prepared for this musical session, looks at child in the eye and advises, ” When the F bomb comes on, I want you to put your fingers in your ears and make a BLEEP sound. Let’s practise.” * *mother rewinds the song and when it gets to the F bomb, they both put their fingers in their ears and make a BLEEP sound* *mother looks at child with so much pride knowing she has given her parental advice on how to enjoy music.* I sat next to the window, which is obviously my absolute favourite seat in a matatu.

To vibrate or not to vibrate

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In the beginning of the year I remember coming on here and complaining of how people had all these new year resolutions such as, saving more and getting that summer-body on. I complained because I am scum and cannot get over my inbred laziness and lose weight and as such I vent all of that on you my loyal, unfailing, supportive friends. Well, I am quite thankful for my laziness because I, unlike my ‘weight-loss-crazed’ friends have been coping pretty well in this nippy Nairobi weather. Sweaters? Jackets? Blazers? What are those? I am rather finely insulated. So, my friends, what say ye? Let us be insulated together. Look at me extending an olive branch to you focused human beings looking amazing on social media. Is it an olive branch? I don’t really think I am allowed to call it that, so let’s just call it a leaf, no specification, not a branch, just a leaf, I am extending a leaf to you focused human beings. I am of the belief that since you are already this deep into the post you