REST IN PERFUME

Dearly Beloved,
You know how the oldies said something like life is a vicious cycle or life is a circle or whatever it was that those human beings we are named after said. The Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Now don't throw rocks at me or anything, I mean, yoga and meditation and finding your inner 'chi' works for some people but I tend to draw the line at reincarnation. Here's how I see it, you get your, say 70 (give and take) years dealing with human beings and paying rent and buying food and trying to afford clothing,then, Our Good God decides it's time you take a kaSabatical; time to get yourself a little R'n'R (for the record I have no idea what R'n'R means and I am NOT going to google it) and you decide apana, lemme go back as a dog, a donkey, a hyena hehe, a monitor lizard (those ones that look like they can beat you up proper and they don't even fear rocks being thrown at them *cue Foundation by Daddy Owen and Papa Dennis #GOSPELtingz #PRAYERPARTNERmanenos) or even coming back as another human being. Imagine coming back as a human being; being born, learning to walk, going to school (sigh, kwanza this part), getting dumped, the conductor of the matatu you are in refuses to give you your change. Even worse, you come back as a donkey! Punda! You come back, you get born, maybe your mother decides to name you Lucia, because it is the swankiest of swanky-new-generation names Donkey-life has to offer. You are this beautiful grey thing that keeps close to her mother. Your mother is a working single mom; during the day she is busy pulling that cart to transport water, cement etc, and in the evenings when she is off duty (because the cart driver decided he wanted to chapa some pints at his joint) she comes to check up on you and show you off to akina Mama Steph and Mama Jolene (the generic old names really) and to have them say your name over and over again, Lucia. They will ask your mom how she came up with such a dope name and you know what she'll say,
"I felt it while she was still in the womb, she was so special, we had this bond and we sort of agreed on it then."
They will go on to talk how there are no good donkeys left and the strong, caring, handsome males are mules, how unfair. They will go on like this for some time and they will roll on the ground for a 'relaxation sesh'. They will relax and some loose mama over there will let out a call which will be responded to by a male in the distance, they will discuss how some donkeys can't seem to keep their loins under control, they lack standards, they just go for any males that scream back at them. Later, you'll hear your owner break into a drunken hymn and your mom will gather you up and together the three of you go home, accompanied by some melodious, off-key, jazzy hymn about how 'were you there when they crucified him'.
When you get older, you develop an attitude toward your mom and you will want to be treated 'like a grown up'. You know what happens then? You get in the cart business as well. You work different shifts with your mom or when the load is really heavy,you get to share the work. Your once fair hide will get tight and sore from all the beatings you receive and the scorching sun on your back as you work. Once in a while there'll be that open sore on your back where the cane met the hide a little too hard, a little too often. Your mom will start having breathing complications and you are now transfered to the main shift with mom being only an extra push. Then, THE LOINS. You start screaming out randomly,screams which get replies a distance away (think of it as a tinder for donkeys). You match, you meet, the deed, you part. At the peak of your career, you realise you have a bun in the oven. You didn't even ask him where he worked! Shit! This can't be happening to you too. The mules that Steph and Jolene talk about seem nice if you are willing to sacrifice conjugals. No, you'll be strong, like mom was, sigh, mom. You miss mom, she couldn't breathe one day, the vet said it was pneumonia, if only...
Dave comes. He is beautiful. The most beautiful child you have ever laid your eyes on, and he is yours, yours and yours alone. You are going to protect him and love him and teach him where to get the freshest grass and how to avoid the owner's lashes, heck, you'll even take his lashes for him, you are willing to lay your life on the line for him.
You are ageing now, Dave is doing really well in the cart business. Dave is sold. You don't know what to do. Is he alright? You have to find him. Chest pain, wait, is that a tunnel? Is that light? Why is it so bright? Hold on, have I not seen it befo-
The cycle continues.

Now see why I can't take reincarnation?
Last week, I had two male goats. As from Monday 6th March at 9:23 am, I have one. We lost January aka Janu to kidney failure (The exact words used by the Vet). He was the older one, the one who smelled. My cat, Puss, gave birth to four little ones, maybe just maybe, Janu is in there somewhere, maybe. RIP Janu.

P.S: Janu, if you are out there somewhere,please invest in a cologne or an affordable deodorant at least, please.
STOP VIOLENCE AND CRUELTY AGAINST ANIMALS.

Enough spirit talk,more food talk. Comfort food anyone?
Really easy to make and really, really, really, really, should I say really one more time? Okay. Really, nice on the tongue and the throat and the whole Alimentary Canal. MouthGasm!

Banana Smoothie, Mango Smoothie, Chocolate cake, Ice cream, Chocolate Sauce, Digestive Biscuits and Peanuts. Throw all of these together and Bam!

Method
For your banana smoothie,
Take 2 ripe bananas (preferably overly ripe) 1/2 (half) cup of milk and a 1 teaspoon vanilla essence. Blend all these together and you are done. No, really, that's it, it's that simple.
For the mango,
Use one whole mango. Cut it up into small pieces and throw into a blender. Instead of the milk used in the banana smoothie, use half a glass of water for this one.

Place the mango smoothie at the base of your jar and add the banana smoothie. The mango is best at the base since it is thicker. Also, it makes for a really cool colour pattern. Put your piece of cake in. Place your ice cream (3 scoops) and on top, place your biscuits crumbles and peanuts, here you can place more ice cream or smoothie to get it all nice and wet and runny and gooey. Drizzle the chocolate sauce, you can add honey if you want. Add sprinkles on top to complete. ENJOY!!!!!

Thank you for reading and Sharing.
Kindly check out my previous posts.
Stalk my social (there is food, I promise) INSTAGRAM: mwaniki_maina
TWITTER: Mwaniki_Maina     FACEBOOK: Mwaniki Maina
See you soon Dearly Beloved,
Adios.