Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday, Churros & Childbirth

I am supposed to write something nice and sweet about the month of love. Something that will have you wincing in pain at your own singleness, leaving you with that hollow feeling, a feeling that can only be filled by long hours of staring at couples on Instagram with their clear skin and white teeth, looking like purity and serenity in a tall glass serving. No? Just me? Are you kidding? You want to tell me you are part of these clear skinned individuals now? Oh please, I am obese not gullible. You know what, let’s jump right into it folks: TODAY’S POST!

I believe Valentine’s Day was a day we created as human beings to give ourselves a tap on the back for surviving January. A rather lazy one at that. We hyped it with flowers and cake and wine and chocolate and all these things that give you diabetes, high-blood pressure and make your cholesterol levels sky rocket. But hey, who’s checking right? My father recently told us (mother dearest and myself) that he only recently knew about Valentine’s Day. There I was, thinking to myself, my GOD, I am a pathetic liar, but this man right here, this dude, he is right off the rails. That was until mother giggled, or maybe she was clearing her throat, and said that she believed that. I think she was telling ME that and not her husband.

How does one go through life not knowing about Valentine’s Day? I knew about Valentine’s Day when I was an infant! Check post here:http://creative254.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/dearly-beloved-issanother-post-21.html . The man after whose father I am named however, told us that he knew about it when he had already found his rib. See everyone, that’s what internet does to you, it makes you smarter than your age. The gift that keeps on giving; The Internet. I had to sit through another one of those sessions where I was told to be grateful for what I have now, seeing as my father had to walk 10 kilometers to school daily, had to sing the national anthem in 25 different languages before getting to class, had to slay dragons and freeze lakes and oceans before he could get to school, how he had to hunt gazelle and dik dik for afternoon tea and the list goes on and on. All this, because of Valentine’s Day.

This Valentine’s falls on Ash Wednesday. That time we look back on our lives as Christians and ask for forgiveness for all our transgressions. Very moving stuff. Memes will probably be recycled from last year, as we talk about having a cross tattoo across your face. Please don’t be one of those humans. People who prey on others’ faith for a few laughs and 64 likes on Instagram.

So how will I be spending my valentine’s? With an ashy forehead cooking up a storm in my mother’s kitchen, turning myself into Martha from the bible. Others will probably get pizza, liquor and fornicate. Whatever floats your boat. Others will probably, like my father, not give a hoot what Valentine’s Day is and just carry on with their lives; buying deodorant, complaining about how Okoa Jahazi gets depleted even before you have called Karis asking him about that kaLoan he was to repay by Saturday. Maybe even going to their mutura guy for supu. Valentine’s Day for who? I probably will not reactivate my account for a certain dating app because I do not need anyone to validate my existence on Valentine’s Day. PROBABLY. TENTATIVELY. MAYBE.

What I am sure of however is that I will be celebrating Valentino’s birthday, remember him? See post here;http://creative254.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/instagram-dads-and-masala.html . Then the one year anniversary to mark January’s death, the beloved smelly goat;http://creative254.blogspot.co.ke/2017/03/rest-in-perfume.html . WOW, emotional roller-coaster much?

VERY EXCITING NEWS: I have two more goats, two beautiful girls, Olivia was born at 1:47 pm, January 31^st and Purity was born on 4^th February at 4:19 pm. My two beautiful girls. I had actually predicted this birth if you remember;http://creative254.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/instagram-dads-and-masala.html I have however decided to change the names to just Olivia and Purity, I thought Tokyo and Amor were a tad too much, just a tad.

Happy Valentines Dearly Beloved.

How about some CHURROS for valentines? It’s no fondue but hey! *I would google fondue if I were you. Also, I am ashamed to say this, but I have Justin Bieber playing in my head as I write this particular paragraph. I think he has a song talking about fondue, google it and tell me.

Ingredients:

For the churros

Water 1 cup

Margarine ½ (half) cup

Sugar ½ cup

Salt ¼ teaspoon

3 eggs

For the chocolate

½ cup of sugar

2 cups of whole cream milk

½ cups chopped or grated dark cooking chocolate (Chocolate chips are also applicable)

1 tablespoon cornstarch (NOT maize meal)

**However, if you don’t have corn starch, substitute 1 tablespoon of cornstarch with 3 heaped tablespoons of baking flour.

Method

Boil the water and margarine together in a pot. Once this is well boiled and mixed, reduced the heat and stir in the flour. Mix well. Stir vigorously to avoid burning. When it is formed into dough, remove it from the fire and add in eggs while stirring continuously. Heat vegetable oil in a pan. Put the dough into a piping bag and once the oil is heated, pipe in the dough in a line. Make several lines and let them fry till brown. On a plate, place sugar and cinnamon powder and roll in the churros while still hot, let them coat well with sugar. Repeat until the piping bag is exhausted.

For the chocolate; Put the cornstarch in one cup of milk and stir until well dissolved. Put this aside. Put the other cup of milk and the chocolate in a pot and heat over medium heat. Stir continuously. Add in the reserved milk and cornstarch mixture and the sugar into the melted chocolate. Whisk continuously until it is well thickened over low heat. Make sure it is smooth and all the lumps are out. Once done, put it in a warm place.

Serving: pour the dip in bowls and put the churros in separate holding cups. Dip the churros in the Choco-dip and enjoy. Tip: Do not forget you can substitute one tablespoon of cornstarch with three tablespoons of flour. Enjoy.

Have a great Valentine’s Day/ Ash Wednesday ahead. See you on the other side. Check out my previous posts, who knows, we could end up together. How is this information relevant? I have no idea.