Sipping On My Over-spiced Tea

First of all Dearly Beloved, allow to me register my apologies for posting this here on a Monday, a day we agreed we shall loathe for the rest of our existence unless they decide to make it free nyama choma day pale Njuguna’s at Westy. As it turns out, we had a little bit of technical difficulties which we sorted out last night (God, I feel like one of those TV people whose faces are caked in foundation staring at a camera and reading things on the teleprompter)

So, now that that’s out of the way, Dearly Beloved, I give you, Eve Kavenge. Chairperson of The Contemporary Africans Book club. Author of several publications on Wattpad under the pen name KEMUND books. User of turmeric. Slayer of rodents. Champion chapati eater. All round cool child.

By Eve Kavenge:

In the spirit of the month of love, I decided to use red font. This is about as 'festive' as I will get over Valentine's Day. Yes, I have been guilty of doing 'festive' things on this day. The classic red outfit, the flower thingy and the wistful daydreaming that someone will ask me out on Valentine's. I've been a walking cliché. I know the works. And I've been there and done that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with doing all this stuff. Girl (or Boy, let's be gender sensitive) if you want to do it, do it all "Yeeees!" (Cue Nene’s voice) Live honey, live. Some of us just want something different.

Sooo...about February. Do y'all remember this figure of speech thingy called personification that we learnt in literature? I was thinking, how about we bring the months of the year to life. It's unfair that Wednesday gets to be called Friday's sexy cousin (daamn!) and January isn't called that broke hangover-ed uncle of December. Very apt description of January that is, if I do say so myself. December would be Miss Promiscuous. Don't argue with me on this one. I mean, the number of September babies speaks for itself. Then February...oh lala...what words do I use? Liquid chocolate...juicy strawberries... Eureka! I found the words. February would be dripping in finesse. Sorry Bruno Mars, I just had to use your words.

February would be a woman. A full-bodied woman comfortable in her body. February would have this irresistible charm that draws everyone in. And you just don't understand what's so attractive about her. Male or female, she would draw everyone in.

February is a modern woman 6 inch heels manenoz, Queen B! She's adding zeros to her pay cheque. So her hair always looks good, her eyebrows are perfect and she'll look good in whatever weather. Even in the hot blistering sun. So babe she can cover the bill, she doesn't need you for that. She can buy her own drinks. Do it Dutch without batting an eyelid. Own her own house and car.

She's a master of seduction (yes, I didn't say mistress). She'll initiate hook ups without you even realising that she's in charge. And she smirks when you call her brazen. She couldn't be more flattered.

Point is don't be presumptuous when it comes to her. She's full of surprises. February rolls her eyes at the thought of red (because could you get any more gaudy?) and flowers (they die in a day) and chocolate and wine (cliché much?) Plus she really can buy herself the good stuff so babe don't think you're doing her a favour by buying her wine that's on sale.

I know, I know. You're probably thinking that she's too high maintenance. I mean, what could she possibly want? But listen, this is the thing. February isn't above all this. She just wants more. Not extravagant gifts and stuff. She does have a soft spot for stuffed animals though. She wants someone who'll look deep into her soul on the month of love and actually see her. Man, none of this frivolous stuff. Just give her time and attention. Dare to dream with her. Dare to challenge her. Just do something different.

So February decided to be extra and recommended this recipe. It's simple but has a little something....else to it. Else is a noun in her vocabulary.

Spicy Tea

Ingredients:

2 cups of water

Tea leaves (however dark you like your tea is up to you)

1 packet of 300 ml milk *OPTIONAL

Teaspoon of nutmeg

Teaspoon of tea masala

Fresh rosemary

Teaspoon of crushed ginger (or just throw the whole thing in there)

A tiny slice of lemon

Of course, sugar (the quantity depends on you love)

Method:

1.     Boil the milk like you mean it. I find three minutes to be enough.

2.     Add the 2 cups of water. And duuuh, boil it too.

3.     Add the tea leaves, nutmeg, tea masala, rosemary...am I missing something? Ah yes, the ginger.

4.     You can add sugar at any point and just sort of stir it.

5.     Bring it to boil Darling. Don't rush it.

Get out your best china. Drop your sliced lemon into your delicate little cup and pour yourself a cup. I'm guessing after your first sip, you are probably doubting February's culinary skill (as you should). She promised something else and she delivered it. Your taste buds now have a tale to tell.

You know what, this February and for the rest of this year, why don't you do something extra. Get out of your comfort zone. Shock your taste buds and you know what, it might just be fulfilling. Mic drop. (Sips on over spiced tea)

I decided to add a little twist to Kavenge’s recipe and did an iced version.

Boil the water and throw in all the spices and the tea leaves and all the soul you have. Let it cool. Squeeze in a little bit of lemon juice, throw in ice cubes and sweeten with honey. Enjoy. To be honest this tea is SPICY. Common cold shall be a thing of the past thanks to the home-girl.

Suggestion: serve with Pancakes and Stewed apples.

There you have it Dearly Beloved, the effects of pimping you out twice in one month; people come in and throw their spicy teas at your face and you actually like them. February has been good to us, she came, did her thing within no time, now she is exiting the stage for March. January, you are a curse.

Asante Sana and Kwaheri.