New Year New Babies

2018

Recently on social media I have been spotting individuals do that; Page 1 (2, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 you get the idea) of 365 business. Just how long are we going to sustain it though? Oh well, don’t mind me, carry on, as you were.

Dearly Beloved, another year dragged itself into our lives, huh? Last year I was here with Natalie discussing the whole financial literacy agenda (see post here:http://creative254.blogspot.co.ke/2017/01/remember-how-i-told-you-i-know-just.html ). Spend wisely, within your means, journalise your spending, don’t take debts you can’t stomach, all that good stuff. This year, all I can say, be financial literate fam.

I genuinely am tired of that new year new me thing and to be honest this first post of 2018, will NOT be marred by that bull-dropping. I will however discuss babies, yes babies. There I am, in church getting my blessings and all, when this mini-human and his parent walk up to the row of seats I was seated on. Well, technically, the baby wasn’t walking, he was on his father’s arm staring at everything and reaching out to grab God-knows-what. His eyes had that clear watery film and his face had that tired post-straining-facial-muscles look. Baby had been crying. Now, here’s the thing, I love babies they are -and I am quoting a person I don’t remember here- like mini-drunk adults. They laugh at everything I swear! They get really loud when shouting indecipherable gibberish, they THOROUGHLY enjoy clapping and, they poop their pants. I mean, can anything get better than that? Yes, it can but for purposes of today’s post, lets agree nothing can.

So, baby and father walk up to the row and father cranes his neck, looking for space and calculating how he was going to pass through, avoiding any knee contact, to get to the seat. Now, human beings are kind individuals, almost to a fault. Too much sweetness gives you diabetes, too much kindness, well, let’s just say, we will say nothing just yet. The KIND gentleman seated at the edge of the pew gave father and mini-human way, the green light, the grand opening, to make his way to the space just next to me…

I can almost swear I saw the horns grow out of the baby’s head and his gummy gums give way to fangs as he looked at me with those steely eyes, that look. So father and mini-human made their way to the seat and made themselves comfortable. Then he turned to me, face all eager with that charming smile he uses to lure you in and when you least expect it, he pounces! Claws and all. Lacerations on skin, raptured veins, blood gushing all over the place. He started squirming, he wants to approach the prey, and the prey is intensely uncomfortable. He can’t just up and leave. I mean what will the self-righteous women say?

“Oh don’t be dramatic, it’s a little baby, you act like you were born with teeth, dyed hair and ripped jeans.”

DISCLAIMER: I don’t dye my hair and I think ripped jeans are the Kim Jong-un of denim.

So, you see, I couldn’t just up and leave, so I let him approach. His steps wobbly and unsure, one step, then the next, then the next, then the next. He’s here. Gummy smile. Drool. Excited clapping. Reaching out. He’s on my lap. He is laughing when I widen my eyes. Okay, maybe this isn’t too bad. Aww, clap clap clap. What is the priest rambling about? Who cares, I have a new child-friend. Uh-oh, no no no, nooo nooo nooo. LOUD WAILS. Father gives me that look.

“Here, take him, I don’t know why he is crying.”

Cooing. The prey is now being attacked. Pinch. Pinch pinch. Pinch pinch pinch. Pinch pinch pinch pinch kick. Oh God, not the afro. No. No no no no. Wait, stop please. Sto-

ALL OF THE LIGHTS

TURN UP THE LIGHTS IN HERE BABY

IF YOU WANT IT YOU CAN GET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE – RiHaNnA!

We do this for the drama fam, for the drama. Well, food anyone? PS, that was the end of my baby story.

CHOCOLATE CENTRE PANCAKE

These babies literally have chocolate at their cores. How do you make them? Easy:

Ingredients

1 ½ cups of flour

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

2 tablespoons of sugar

1 cup of milk

1 egg

2 drops vanilla essence (optional)

Melted Chocolate (frozen) – Confusing, I know LOL

Method

In a bowl, sift in the dry ingredients that is, the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Add in the milk and egg and mix until well mixed and smooth. Heat oil on the pan. Onto the pan, scoop two tablespoonfuls of the batter and level. Place one molten chocolate wafer and scoop two other spoonfuls of the batter and cover the chocolate wafer. It should appear sandwich like. Let it cook until one side browns then flip. Once both sides are nice and brown, serve. Drizzle syrup or honey and dust with icing sugar. Enjoy.

How to melt the chocolate:

1 tablespoon of butter and 2 ounces of the dark chocolate. Put these in a glass bowl over hot water and stir until well melted. Pour this onto a greaseproof paper and freeze.

Thank you so much for reading through Dearly Beloved. Share widely. Take a look at my previous posts as well.

Happy New Year, be careful around babies and Kwaheri.

See you on the next post.