crEATive

What does a normal individual do on a Saturday morning? Well, hold a solid conversation with his cat of course. Here’s one I had with Patricia the other day. Patricia: (walking at brisk pace) Hello human. Self: Cat. Patricia: (jumps on couch and makes herself comfortable, ready to stew in her own heat) Fine Day isn’t it guv’nah? Self: What person says guv’nah at 10:47 am Saturday morning? Patricia: In case, you haven’t noticed bruh, I am a CAT, Feline, relative of Lions and Cheetahs and all those other barbaric relatives of mine. Self: Well, two shouts for Miss Family Spirit! Patricia: You need to work on your sarcasm bro, I mean, Simba (the neighbours’ dog) has better stuff, than the pathetic lines you try passing off. Self: Did you honestly rouse your fur, walk into the house and share a couch with me just to lower my self-esteem? Patricia: Oh my God, you and moaning! Boo-Hoo, no one cares, hey did I tell you of that time I did a thing on the couch? Self: You mean using ...

Two things DB, good news and bad news. (DB- Dearly Beloved. Status of our relationship, I can fart in your presence.) So, farts and all, the good news is, I have discovered Facebook filters. Like the Snapchat ones. Bad news, since I am subject to the societal dictation of masculinity, I shan’t share images of myself in the said filters with you. They are for my eyes only, well, mine and the swarm of people seated behind me in a 14 seater matatu, but yeah, you get the drill. These filters dearly beloved have become my favourite pastime. You know how normal people do video games, baking, fornication, Bible Study etc., well mine just happens to be taking self-portraits and enhancing them using these digital era things. Narcissism at its best. I am the embodiment of self-absorption at this point in my existence. Here’s my deal with Facebook. For a long period of time, Facebook has for me been a secret love affair. A clandestine engagement. Done in the bushes, under the cover of darknes...